Total Drama Nonsense
by Tabine
Summary: Yet another collection of drabbles, ficlets, and vignettes featuring the characters of television's best known reality show. Well, mostly Heather and Alejandro.
1. shot through the heart

Just a collection of random ficlets and drabbles that may or may not exactly meet the status of an actual piece of stand-alone fanfiction. Mostly featuring Heather and Alejandro, at this point, but. Well, we shall see.

Thanks in advance for reading!

* * *

**Total Drama Nonsense****  
"shot through the heart"**

* * *

It had been one thing to watch Alejandro spar against José in that week's challenge, and another entirely to see him actually win against his adversary. But it was Alejandro's last comment to his brother as he delivered the final blow that really caused Heather to sit up and take notice - though José's comment about her personality being unattractive, while certainly not untrue, came in at a somewhat close second.

Heather was suddenly very glad she had decided to watch the newest episode in the comfort and privacy of her own bedroom as opposed to the living room - she could feel her face growing warm and her heart hammering wildly in her chest as Chris said something about how now everyone knew how Alejandro really felt about Heather, but even that didn't prepare her for what she heard him say next.

She swore that even though he was, for all intents and purposes, speaking to the camera in the confessional, Alejandro's eyes somehow managed to transcend all known laws of physics and engineering - even reality - and gaze deeply into Heather's own. Even his voice sounded as if he were standing right in front of her, and not miles and miles away in a dirty refurbished bathroom.

"Heather, I know you're watching. Call me."

And she hated it. Despised it. Oh, how she absolutely loathed how she made him feel. But even as she thought about how much she hated it, the blush on her cheeks continued to grow, and she found herself unconscious of the fact that she was reaching for her cellphone and opening the contacts list until she became aware of the name that sat at the very top of it.

Heather rather hoped Alejandro wouldn't get any funny ideas about her being in love with him or anything - even if he had beaten his hated older brother to a pulp and defended (the remains of) her honor in a boxing ring on public television. Though she supposed that it was kind of sweet of him.

Things were so much easier when they still hated each other's guts, Heather finally decided as she began to write out a long-overdue text message.


	2. namesake

**Total Drama Nonsense  
"namesake"**

-x-

_Imagine your OTP finding out they are having a baby, and fighting over what to name it. When they find out the sex of the baby, they look at each other and instantly know what the name will be._

-x-

Prompt courtesy of the OTP Prompts tumblr.

* * *

All things considered, Alejandro had taken the news shockingly well. He'd stared at her and blinked a few times before his eyes had filled up with tears and that usual stupid smirk he always wore was replaced by an equally stupid grin.

"_Mi amor_!" he'd murmured, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to his chest before pressing his lips to her hairline. "This is wonderful news." He placed a hand on her belly and smiled before leaning down and pressing another kiss to her lips.

For all she hated about the way he acted whenever he was feeling particularly sentimental about something, Heather didn't say anything to dissuade him, instead leaning in closer to his solid warmth before closing her eyes in content.

As was to be expected, however, the peace did not last long - only approximately twelve minutes, to be exact.

It began when Heather made an off-hand comment about needing to make an appointment with a doctor for pre-natal care and how she'd have to call her mother sometime that week to share the news, and Alejandro remarked that these things didn't need to be rushed, and that she should take her time. Heather's response, of course, was to inform that a nine months was really that much time, particularly when wasn't sure how far along she already was, to which Alejandro naturally had already prepared some witty quip in reply, and, somewhere along the line, the conversation degenerated into the sort of argument one would normally expect to see amongst preschoolers.

"We'll have to name her after my _Abuela_, of course," Alejandro had said with a shrug that seemed to indicate that, at least to him, it was the end of the discussion.

But Heather was far from over. "_Your_ grandmother?" she'd asked. "What about mine?"

Alejandro cocked an eyebrow. "But you hate your grandmother," came the replied. "Both of them."

"That's not the _point_," Heather hissed. "And what if it's a boy?"

"You mean we're not naming him after me?"

And so it went, back and forth for the next few months, until one fateful Thursday afternoon, when, during a routine ultrasound exam, the doctor turned to the couple with a knowing smile and asked if they were curious about what the sex of the baby would be.

Heather and Alejandro shared a glance between them before Heather raised her head and looked up at the doctor. "We'd like to know," she said, and Alejandro nodded in agreement.

The doctor nodded. "A little boy," she said.

Feigning annoyance, Heather turned to Alejandro, lips pressed into a thin line. "Fine," she told him. "Alejandro Burromuerto Junior it is."

Alejandro grinned. "And we shall call him - " he paused for dramatic effect, and Heather groaned while the doctor chuckled softly, " - _Alejito_."

* * *

The name "Alejito" and the general idea/inspiration for headcanons regarding what will henceforth be known as _the Burromuerto clan_ courtesy of tumblr user **sallychanscraps** (**Sallychan-Stories** on FFN/**sallychan** on deviantart); once again, the prompt itself is courtesy of the **otpprompts** blog on tumblr.


	3. a warm sort of feeling

**Total Drama Nonsense  
"a warm sort of feeling"**

-x-

_Imagine your OTP cuddling by the fireplace._

-x-

Prompt courtesy of the OTP Prompts tumblr.

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If there was one nice thing about returning to Sweden, the most obvious answer was that their attire was considerably better than last time. There were other improvements, of course - they had spent their entire flight in the comfort and peace of first class without a single baby or child screaming to ruin the mood, for example, and been treated with actual respect by the pilot and crew - but, still, it was nice to visit a country famous for its ice hotels wearing thick sweaters and padded designer jackets and boots instead of clothes better suited for warmer climes (although those had been designer as well). The next obvious improvement was the company. Or, rather, the lack thereof.

As if he could read her thoughts (which was something a small part of her actually did not doubt whatsoever) Heather felt him shift his weight to peer over her shoulder as she idly flipped through the large book in her lap.

"_Querido_," Alejandro began, "it seems that we once again find ourselves in Sweden, though this time we are alone and have no need to share our quarters with a dozen lunatics, nor must we face certain danger and possible injury at every twist in turn. And yet, all you want to do is _read_?" A look of momentary panic flashed across his face. "You haven't become bored with me, have you?"

Briefly contemplating whether to tease him by saying that she had, in fact, become bored of him, Heather instead looked up at him and narrowed her eyes. "Actually, I'm just trying to _relax_." She frowned at him and turned back to her book. "Either way, we already had our encounter with certain danger today - someone wanted to go down the hill meant for professionals, remember? I told you we would have been fine on the intermediate level, or the advanced one, at most."

Alejandro sniffed self-righteously and crossed his arms over his chest. "Any honorable member of the Burromuerto clan will never settle for anything that is second-best," he said. Then he smiled, and looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "After all, I chose you, didn't I?"

She didn't look at him. "Hardly. The decision was mutual, remember?"

"You are correct, of course," came the reply, and when she did respond immediately, he took the opportunity to wrap one arm around her waist and pull her closer to him. "The blizzard is getting worse, you know. I hope you are not getting cold - allow me to warm you with my fiery Latin passion."

"Between this sweater, the blanket, the fire, and that passion of yours," Heather said, "I am probably going to get heatstroke." But she still set the book aside and leaned into his warmth, pulling the quilted blanket tighter around them. "Imagine if we had that problem the last time we were here."

Alejandro nuzzled her cheek gently and smiled. "All I know is that it will only get hotter from here."

Resisting the urge to laugh, Heather pulled away slightly and looked up at him, her expression one of practiced irritation. "Seriously?" she asked.

He shrugged. "What? Even I have my bad days, you know that."

Heather rolled her eyes, but resumed her position regardless. "Fine," she said, "but next time, let's go on vacation somewhere that _doesn't_ snow."

"Of course, _reina_," Alejandro said, pressing a kiss to her hairline, eyes closed in content. "As you wish."

* * *

Just earlier today, I commented on how commercials about Christmas and the holiday season were already airing even before Halloween, and now here I am, writing dumb fanfiction about fictional characters snuggling during the holidays and whatnot. Whoops.

Coincidentally enough, this fic is actually also semi-inspired by an incredibly old _Rose of Versailles_ story of mine I was rereading the other day, and now I am just in the mood to watch classic anime again. Oops.


	4. now three

**Total Drama Perfect  
"now three"**

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_love love love is a word so small_  
_let it fill up up up 'til i can't see at all  
i want to be blind only my hands to guide me  
bring all of you inside me  
_

- "Now Three", Vienna Teng

* * *

Heather does three things when she sees Alejandro for the first time following his elimination from _Total Drama All Stars_.

The first of these is to grab him by the shirtfront and repeatedly call him a "stupid jerk" at varying levels of volume and pitch, with an obscenity or twelve interjected here and there, to the general intrigue (and, likely, the amusement) of everyone in the immediate vicinity.

Secondly, as her voice begins to grow hoarse and her grip on his collar loosens, Heather's yelling gradually begins to give way to laughter, and then she's crouching in front of him, both arms wrapped tightly around her middle and tears streaming down her cheeks, hardly caring that she's laughing so hard she can't even speak coherently, and Alejandro vaguely wonders if he's the only one concerned about her current state of mind.

And then, when her laughter begins to trail off and she's finally caught her breath, Heather stands up and reaches for his collar once again. She pulls him close and fixes him with a decidedly pointed look, except for the first time he can recall her expression is completely unreadable to him, and as he scans her face desperately for some inkling of exactly _what_ she's thinking at that moment, Alejandro is suddenly all-too-aware of their current proximity to one another, how Heather's mouth is mere inches away from his, the way her thick, dark lashes cast such exquisite shadows across her cheekbones, and the fact that his heart his now pounding erratically in his chest - and perhaps that is the point, because to his surprise (and to the apparent disgust of everyone else around them) a split second later Heather is kissing him. It's sudden and catches him off-guard, and Alejandro can feel his teeth pressing into the inside of his lip, but that doesn't matter because _Heather is actually kissing him_.

Well, that was certainly unexpected.

He's too shocked to immediately respond properly, but after the initial bewilderment has passed (and he's certain that Heather's knee isn't going to end up near anything sensitive again) Alejandro feels a certain inexplicable joy welling up inside him, and he ends up returning the kiss with just as much fervor. And when they pull away from each other moments later, Alejandro _knows_ he must look like a fool with how much he's grinning at her, but Heather's smiling just as widely back at him, and so, to paraphrase a certain timeless line - though not necessarily its context - Alejandro frankly doesn't give a damn.

"What was that about being a perfect couple?" Heather asks him, then. Her arms are still wrapped around his neck, and he thinks she's never looked more beautiful.

Alejandro settles one hand on Heather's waist and is pleased by how natural it feels to hold her like this. "I take it you don't mean this as a strategic sort of alliance, _mí amor_."

Heather's response is to press her lips to his once more, although now it is far softer and more gentle than before, and maybe that's why Alejandro can't hear all the retching and gagging in the background. Still, a small part of Alejandro urges him to be careful, yes, but for now he finds it perfectly acceptable to ignore it.

* * *

And so obligatory post-TDAS finale Aleheather fic is go. Lyrics are from "Now Three" by Vienna Teng.

Real talk: this isn't the first fic I've named after this song. Oh well. It's interesting, though, because the context is entirely different this time around.


End file.
